Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Tuesday April 24 ... "Oh THAT's what he's doing!!"

Baby was a little sick Sunday and Monday, so when I picked him up on Tuesday, he was especially clingy. He was pulling on my shirt a little, so when we got his coat on, we sat down to nurse. He pulled down my shirt and latched on. From the other side of the room I heard, "OH! THAT'S WHAT HE'S LOOKING FOR!" It was one of the teachers, and she was nearly doubled over laughing.
"All day, he's like 'OOO?'", and she mined him pulling out her shirt and looking down it. "All day! To EVERYONE!"
I guess he gets a little handsy with the teachers, and I was worried I was going to get an earful about still nursing him. But, to my surprise, the teacher said, "Aww, and it's so nice for you guys. So nice."

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Sunday, April 15 ... Are you kidding me?

And I'm glad I didn't let slip on camera what I was really thinking ... "Are you FUCKING kidding me!?!?!"

And not in an angry way. I'm just so blown away by this kid. I mean seriously. What 12 month + 4 day old climbs ladders? Having never seen a ladder probably. How does he just KNOW how to do these things?!?!

Friday, April 20, 2012

Saying it Out Loud ... Yes, I fed my baby. I was there.

This past weekend I went to the monthly Babywearing meeting. We were hanging around, wearing our babies :), and chatting. One mother has twin 10-month-old girls, and was saying she is working on cherishing every moment, because she knows she's not having another baby/babies. I said I felt the same way, that I'm not sure I'll have another one, so I'm doing my best to take a lot of pictures and document everything so I don't forget.
"Oh, really?", she and another mom ask. "You don't want to have another one?!"
"Well, we'll talk about it in a year or so, but as of right now, I don't think I could do it again."



Sigh. "Well, we had a really rough time in the beginning. He was, I've recently learned the term, 'High Need'. He didn't let me put him down for 5 months. We couldn't go out without him screaming. We had a lot of trouble bonding. It was just really rough, especially when everyone on the street felt the need to give me their two cents -- 'Did you feed him?' 'Did you burp him?' 'He's hungry!' 'He's gassy!' And I was all, 'He just ate, I was there.' Ha ha."


"Well ... are you SURE he didn't need to eat?" they said.


A full year later, I'm still having to defend myself about my high need baby. These moms went on and on about how you "can't spoil a baby", and I felt like I was back in CVS with an old lady telling me how to fix my baby. I know you can't spoil a baby, and believe me, I tried. I fed him whenever he needed it, I made sure his butt was clean, and if I had burped him any more CFS would have accused me of very slow and deliberate baby beating. I know in my heart he didn't need to eat when he screamed like that, because that same scream was not cured with boob when we were at home. That same scream was not cured by burping, or rocking, or signing, or bouncing. I never did find out if that scream would have been cured by throwing him out the window or smothering him with a pillow, though the thought did cross my mind.

I still don't get people don't believe me. When he was about 7 or 8 weeks old we were visiting the in-laws for Uncle Matthew's graduation, and a friend of the family came over to see the baby. He was getting fussy and started crying. "You call THAT crying!" she yelled, laughing at me. I could have slapped her. It still brings tears of anger and frustration just thinking about it. It was so dismissive, sort of like "Oh you silly first-time mother, you have NO IDEA what real crying is." She wasn't there when my ears were throbbing because he was crying so loud. She wasn't there when, after 3 hours of constant screaming, I was screaming back. I'm not crazy. I remember how bad it was.

It's been comforting to learn about "High Need" babies, though it would have been MORE helpful at the time. I found this today, http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby, and it was like reading the journal I never kept (notice up until now this blog was HAPPY HAPPY!!!). But even now I tell someone he was "High Need", many are still "Well, honey, all babies are needy." GAAAHHH!!!! I don't wish this on anyone, but I WISH someone else would understand!!!

The bright side (for any strangers reading this or those who haven't seen my baby lately) is that as angry and sad as he was, he is a hundred times happier now. He barely cries during the day, and usually that just means he's tired. He laughs and plays and SLEEPS! Which is probably another reason why people don't believe me ...

At the park

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Saturday April 14 ... 12 Month Doctor Visit

We were smart and made this appointment for 11am instead of 8am, which means mommy got to sleep in. We also didn't get a picture of this one, since he spent most of the time screaming.

He was fine until the nurse came in and FORCED me to lay him down on the measuring tape AND the scale! EVIL!!! Then the doctor came in and before he even touched the baby, Rowan was SCREAMING and trying to run away. The doctor was so sweet, and made sure he had the shots ready to go, and we sat quietly and chatted before the exam. "I've done this before," he said.

Weight = 18.5 lbs
Height = 28.5
Head = 18-ish?

Doctor was impressed that we were walking and eating all sorts of things. He's so chill that nothing really phases him though. "This is the point where babies start to get hurt and poisoned, walking around and reaching for things." Oh, ok. nbd.

As expected, the Vaccination Demons arrived that night and no one slept well. Though the rest of Saturday was great, and we went to lunch and babywearing club!


Friday, April 13, 2012

Friday April 13 ... no more pumping

So I stopped pumping milk at work. Sort of without noticing. Oops.

I was sick earlier this week, so I spent most of Monday at the doctor, and all of Tuesday at home. I had my good pump at work. I had a little bit of a plugged duct on one side, so I used my manual pump for a few minutes, and I got all of half an ounce.

When I went back to work on Wednesday, I guess I just never got around to it. I was hoping to pump in his first birthday, just to I could say I pumped until he was one. Oh well. Then Thursday came and I didn't. And Friday came and I didn't. He's been drinking straight cow milk for a week. And he loves it.

And I was fine with it. I'm not disappointed that I stopped. Cause I hated it.

(it doesn't look like this. No one is every this happy while pumping. Bitch.)

We're still nursing in the morning and at night. And on the weekend he can't get enough of me. He doesn't seem like he wants to stop any time soon.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Things I'll forget ...

Quote of the day...
After breakfast this morning.

"Puppy, why are you all wet?!"
Mom pets puppy and smells her hand.
"Oh, it's because you have applesauce all over you. Of course."

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Wednesday, April 11 ... ONE YEAR OLD!!!

We made it! One whole year, and we're all still alive!

Twelve Month Picture

The whole series ...

First, new in the last month ...

He can walk like a pro! He started around St. Patrick's Day last month, a few steps when it was convenient. Within a week he was walking for the challenge. By the next week he was walking because he was awesome at it! He will even "run" for something he really really wants, like that other kid's ball on the playground.
We joke that he is a Walker (a la "The Walking Dead") because he walks with straight legs with his arms out, and the analogy has extended into him becoming a full-on zombie -- he bites me, and then I'm up all night. :)

He plays with toys. His favorite toy from his birthday was a purple rubber ball. He was SO excited. And I swear, we don't push gender stereotypes on him (MY favorite toy for him was a baby doll), but he loves balls and cars -- if it can be rolled or driven, he's in heaven.

He can climb on everything! One day I came into the bedroom and he was sitting on the bed, like it was no big deal. Last weekend he kept trying to climb gramma's stairs, again, like it was no big deal.

Birthday Photo Shoot (20)

Everything is "Dadda". Except for Momma, which I appreciate. Dadda is "Dadda", but so is everything else. I'm sure Rowan knows what he's saying, and he knows the difference between Dadda-Chris and Dadda-Cup, but we don't.

He eats EVERYTHING!!! I mean everything.

He plays little games.
Like "Who's that baby in the mirror?"
Who's that baby?

and "Dancing all by myself with a box on a string"
Dancing with his "purse"

and "Talk to the animals"
Holding Court, with the puppies

and "Whip it! Whip it GOOD!"

And finally, STILL NURSING!

Rowan nursing, 11 months

Rowan nursing, 11 months

I love that we're at 12 months and there's no end in sight! I've stopped pumping at work during the day, and he takes cow milk just fine. He still nurses at bedtime, once during the night around 4am, in the morning, and pretty much all weekend long.